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Search Results 0 to 5 of about 6 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Oct 1, 2012 10:30am PDT
dog! >> yes, it is i, mustafa, grand viz year of the turkic hoard. welcome to obama's ottoman america! you'll be forced to play the ood eat carob and learn algebra. >> you monsters! >> now, steven, might i interest you in some turkish delight? (laughter) >> stephen: no! no! no thank you. >> oh, it's a tender candy scented with rose water. >> stephen: rose water? oh, that does sound delightful! i shall try one! oh! (laughter) oh, it is scrumptious. >> ha ha ha! now you're mine! come join my harem. >> stephen: no, no! you've got to fight ottoman delicacy with an anti-ottoman delicacy. a croissant. yes, the croissant, created in 1683 to celebrate the victory over the ottomans at the battle of vienna. its crescent shape marks the moon upon your plant. >> no, not the light and flaky pastry of my people's darkest hour! >> stephen: b gone, turk! >> no! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: oh-- thank you. thank you, congressman louie gohmert for warning us against the ottoman menace. but remember, sir, you're from texas. obama's probably also reviving the empire of montezuma and his as tech warr
Comedy Central
Oct 1, 2012 11:30pm PDT
with the romney-ryan plan or it's four more years of barack obama. so even obama did get some good economic news. >> these job numbers show that the president has recovered every single job lost on his watch and then some. that makes the president a net job creator. >> stephen: there it is. obama is a net job creator. so congratulations to robert baird, the guy who got the job. (laughter) but millions of americans are still looking for work. particularly low skilled workers with no high school diploma who face a 12% unemployment rate. now my heart goes out to those blue color workers. all they know how to do is make stuff while we white collar workers have the education necessary to check our e-mail. the problem is, america has lost its good manufacturing jobs to places of cheap unregulated labor like china, vietnam, and the gulag beneath disney world. faster, chakor, they're running out of mickey pretzels. now how-- how is the u.s.-- mickey. (laughter) all for mickey, please don't sue. now how, how is the u.s. supposed to compete with countries where workers toil for pennies an hour? luckily, o
Comedy Central
Oct 2, 2012 7:00pm PDT
. >> the obama camp says independent groups say if you cut those tax rates for everybody 20%, it costs $5 trillion over ten years, true? >> not in the least bit true. >> stephen: true, not true, who cares? (laughter) it's over ten years. romney and ryan will only be in office for eight of those. let president bachmann worry about it in 2020. that is what hindsight is for. but folks, just listen to this pit bull. >> how much would it cost. >> it's revenue neutral. >> i'm talking about the cut, we'll get to the deductions. >> the cut in tax rates is lower all american tax rate by 20%. >> how much does that cost. >> it's revenue neutral. >> stephen: okay, revenue neutral, chris. but for some reason wallace wouldn't take no answer for an answer. (laughter) jim? >> well, it's not revenue neutral unless you take away the deduction. >> let me just -- >> you haven't given me the math. >> well, i don't have-- it would take me too long to go through all of the math. >> stephen: great answer. (laughter) why-- (cheers and applause) great answer why is it a great answer? well, it would take me too lon
Comedy Central
Oct 3, 2012 11:30pm PDT
it is, your moment of zen. >> we just watched president obama three and a half years. i don't think he's governing this way at all. i think that's why... i think that was going to becaptioning y comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh >> tonight, mitt romney still trails in the polls! could bit because they contain other choices? then a breakthrough in men's vitality. >> what vagina substitutes we will be throwing footballs through next and my guest is country music legend kenny rogers, i will ask him if those islands in the stream make good tax shelters. and pornographers were caught filming in the cornell university library. clearly, they could not get into the hear extraordinary library. this is the colbert report. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> colbert: welcome. that is incredible. ladies and gentlemen, thank you. good to have you with us. boy, i can feel the electricity. i can feel the electricity. ladies and gentlemen, in here, out there, across america, you know why
Search Results 0 to 5 of about 6 (some duplicates have been removed)